Understanding Pain

My Lover, My Soulmate, My Very Best Friend

RIP Jamie Ruth

I Love You

Being in the position that I am professionally it is hard to really express the personal life of what made me who I am and what I do for a life...

I owe all of who I have become due to the love of a woman...

This kind of love was unconditional regardless if we liked each other or not, it was that sometimes unspoken love that was the strongest bridge that two people can possess...

It has been four years since I lost the love of my lover, soulmate and very best friend and nothing can ever replace this anquish, joy, memory.

I know that a lot of local people have heard my story about my hair with me cutting it for Breast Cancer and all that I had planned for November and now are questioning what I am doing, so here is my story...

I have not cut my hair since Jamie left to be with the Angels. My idea was to cut my hair when it was long enough to make a wig specifically out of my hair (not LocksOfLove, which mixes people's hair and then the wig goes to an individual you may never meet) so that I can donate a wig to a Cancer Survivor in Jamie's name.

Well...it's been four years...

When Jamie was alive we were very active with our chapter of Susan Komen Center in Greenville, SC aside of all of her support groups and my own support groups for spouses of Cancer Survivors. So I spoke with several people from Susan Komen about having an event where I would host a fundraiser, cut my hair in public, cook a four or five course meal and donate the money to Susan Komen.

Unfortunately, there is not a Susan Komen Center locally that was able to aid in this event. If I would have acted earlier I probably could have set something up with some other Cancer Society but I waited too long to act upon it unfortunately.

November 29th was the anniversary of her death and I really wanted to do something this month to pay homage to the heart that I have loved all of my life and lost...unfortunately this did not happen.

Her Birthday would be in May, so I suppose that I will focus my energy to do the hair cut and wig then...

So I guess this is the point that I just say

"I miss and love you honey"

Thank you for the man that I have grown to be

Without you

Life is less than good

Without you

I would not be near the man that I am

Thank you...

Forever Yours,

Michael