Friday, September 18, 2009

How To Be Excused From The Dinner Table

How to be excused from the dinner table..

Say that you are stuffed and asked to be excused.

When you are denied, lean back on your kitchen chair until only the back two legs rest precariously on its two back legs.If your parents try to make you eat one more bite, threaten to throw up. return chair to upright postion when asked nicely (or not so nicely).

Sink down until nose is level with the top of the table.

Disappear altogether and untie Daddy's shoes or work boots...Giggle, crawl back into your chair and cry when Daddy yells at you

Exhale really loud. Ask why you should have to wait while the grown-ups drink coffee

Stretch

Examine the salt and pepper shakers. Make a pile of the white and black stuff on your plate until yelled at

Walk your knife and fork around the table like they are people. Act as though they are bride and groom and hum
the wedding march loud enough for Daddy to say "Please!!!!"

Rest chin on table and think to yourself "This Sucks", then get your chin stuck in your milk glass, pick it up,
break your plate when the vacuum gives.

Jiggle your leg until your mother asks you to stop because the table is shaking.

Lean back your chair on the back legs again.

Fall over.

Cry

Supper's Over....

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