How to drink a milk shake like a child
Bite off one end of the paper covering the straw.
Blow through straw to shoot paper across the table.
Place straw in shake and suck. When the shake just reaches your mouth, place a finger over the top of the straw... the pressure will keep the shake in the straw.
Lift straw out of the shake, put bottom end in mouth, release finger and swallow.
Do this until the straw is squished so that you can't suck through it.
Ask for another straw. Open it in the same manner, but this time shoot the paper at the waitress when she isn't looking. sip your shake casually.... you are just minding your own business...until there is about an inch of shake remaining in your glass.
Then blow through the straw until bubbles rise to the top of the glass.
When your father says he has had just about enough, get a stomachache.